9 May 2020
One task that I have been assigned to during this period of physical distancing is sorting through old photos on my old family computer. Sorting through old photos can be an emotional experience in the best of times. But, during this pandemic, these emotions have changed and become more intense. While I still have that feeling of nostalgia while looking through old photos of birthday parties, family vacations and other social functions, now I also have an amplified feeling of isolation. To be fair, I have felt isolated for these past few months due to the measures put in place to keep us all safe, but looking through photos of non-pandemic times has intensified the feeling of isolation. I am reminded that at any time during non pandemic times we could make plans to socialize with people outside of our homes or decide to invite people into our homes. I am also reminded of the sense of freedom that has fallen by the wayside as we fight this pandemic.
The photos remind me of a family vacation that we took to Europe in 2006. My mother, father and I went on a cruise that departed from Venice and traveled around the Mediterranean into Greece and Turkey. We then went to France where I was surprised by my brother and sister who joined us for a leg of the trip where we traveled around Paris and the Provence region. My mother had stage four lung cancer and we wanted to experience a family vacation before the inevitable disability and sickness due to the cancer struck. During that time, due to her treatments, my mother was immunocompromised. Even after restrictions on travel and socializing are lifted, if we were in the same situation today, we would not have been able to have such a vacation until the virus was no longer a threat.
I am also reminded of various birthday and holiday parties. These photos are filled with food, cake, friends and family. We all gathered in our old house’s dining room and traded stories and life experiences. Today, none of those functions would be possible at least in the traditional sense. While it would be possible to phone people in and use video calling software, it would not produce the same experience.
Travel, social functions and many other facets of life have been put on hold for the time being. As indicated by the photos that I have sorted through, the above mentioned travel and socializing is a key part of my life and my family’s life. My birthday is fast approaching this month and, due to the current trends of the pandemic, it looks like I will not be able to celebrate it normally. I will most likely celebrating it at home with only my father. I know that other people are not nearly as fortunate to have even one person to celebrate with. I am lucky to be currently living with family.
While life will be different from what I can see in photos of years past for an uncertain amount of time, this does not mean that it will always be this way. I know that the world will eventually return to a state of normalcy. For now, photos of the past can serve as reminders of what the future can and will be.
Luciano Cesta 